I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
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