You made me cry and you don't even care
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
