your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
OPIZZABONMYDICK
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
