Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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