jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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