He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
