I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
