they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
