i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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