You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
no more duck duck goose at the bar
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
