just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
