YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
