At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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