She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
