Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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