I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
