She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
