90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
