id be glad to
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
