Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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