office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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