Plan B is the new Plan A
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
