How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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