I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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