OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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