He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
