Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?

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(815): View more from Illinois

wat bout pragnant strippers??

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(631): View more from New York

I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.

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(360): View more from Washington

I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...

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(619): View more from California

there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.

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(404): View more from Georgia

He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.

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(207): View more from Maine

Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning

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