Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
