Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Even my vagina gasped.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
