remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
