how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
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