If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
The adults are the big ones right?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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