Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
