check it out our google latitudes are spooning
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I need a burrito and a hug.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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