i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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