So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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