Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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