sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
