So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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