the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
