He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
My ass is underappreciated
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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