You're so nebulous sometimes
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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