ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
