im about as happy as oj after his trial
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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