The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
