peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
