people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
