first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
