OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Text me some of your sweat
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
