please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
