Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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