is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize