oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize