His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
