What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize