She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
