I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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