she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
When are your genitals available?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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