Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
