So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
