how do flat chested girls get laid?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
