I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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