You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
