windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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