How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
nutella sex= disaster
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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