So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
