Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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