Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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