He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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