Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
