hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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