waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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