my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Just puked most of my soul out..
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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