yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
