If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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