I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize