So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
