He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
