Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
